Monkey and Ugly B*gger
Monkey gets a present. What's this ? Is it for me ?
Yes it's a present I got for you off eBay.
Oooo ! Thank you, what is it ? Is it that brew your own narna pop kit I asked for ?
Open it and see.
Crikey, it's got woolly legs, what on earth is it ?!
I thought you'd like a nice little friend Monkey to hang out in the trees with.
But I'm your only Monkey I thought I was your special friend. You could have got me a lady one.
You could make an effort to welcome him.
Well I'm not going to. I don't want it here. You can get rid of it, put it back on eBay.
It's an ugly b*gger int it ? Why dunt it talk ?
What've yer made it a kit fer if we're getting rid onit ?
Well I thought seeing as it's upset you so much that you're refusing to do any more "Monkey Meets..." episodes we could send it out on loan.
Like footballers that aren't good enough you mean ?
Something like that Monkey. We could post it off to visit people and they could take it out for the day and give it pop and narnas and nuts.
Oh. Can't I do that I'd like that ?
No you've got a backlog of guests to get through Monkey.
Ugly sets off on his World Tour
Monkey says goodbye and wishes Ugly well.
Ugly's first stop is in Blackpool where he is shown the sights by BlackpoolTyke
Ugly B*gger arrives safely in Blackpool and
is welcomed with a cuppa and a biscuit.
He wastes no time making friends with fellow supporter Rosie.
Where is the tower? asks Ugly B*gger.
Through the window behind you Blackpool Tyke replies.
Ugly B*gger is SO SO SO excited.
I wanna go to the seaside !!
So we get packed up to go to the beach.
On the beach Ugly B*gger gets a bit scared in the sand.
So he gets a cuddle to make him feel better.
Ugly B*gger spots the donkeys and goes for a ride.
After the donkey ride Ugly B*gger does some sightseeing.
After all the excitement Ugly B*gger is shattered!!
Blackpool Tyke decides to take him home, with his stick of Blackpool Rock
ready to head off on his next adventure.
One day, after a hard mornings graft at Currys.digital I returned home to
find a parcel waiting for me... What could it be?!
Ugly has arrived!
Ugly then proceeded to get very drunk with me and my student pals!
I am not on the pictures, as I was far too intoxicated to be seen on the internet, so instead
my friends are on, with blurred faces to protect their identity (ugly is young, and
its illegal to sell alcohol to a minor!)
He then slept happily in a 'super soft' bed that I made
Next morning, monkey came to work with me at currys.
However, I am not allowed to take photos there, so all I can offer is an artist's
impression of what
happened.
Ugly drew this whilst I sold a tv
We then got a train to Nottingham...
"My my, I'm glad to be leaving Leeds" said ugly, "but is
Nottingham really that
much better ?"
Why yes, I said, because we are going to see England play cricket!
And so we set off, towards Loughborough, and a whole new world outside South
Yorkshire...
"I can't wait! Cricket and Dublin in a week! Will
you take me to Florida?" asked Ugly.
UGLY arrives in Scarborough
The postman wanders down the path and when I go to pick up the mail,
guess what's there...a small parcel with my name on it! Wonder what this could be...
Of course, it's Ugly and he wastes no time in trying to make some new
friends....
He then decides after his tiring experience with the cat and two fish, he needs to catch some rays..
When he's sufficiently sunburnt, he comes in. "Can I check tykesmad?" he asks.. "Ayee go on then" I reply.
"WHAT...THE....HELL....IS...THAT!!!"
Uh-oh, seems Ugly is in a bad mood with me already...
Ugly goes to Southampton
A weekend away with Eagle was Ugly's next adventure
Ugly accompanied me to work where he learnt to drive a truck.
Upon returning to the yard, he fuelled up the truck.
Me: Ugly, what are you doing?
Ugly: I’m cashing in on everyone’s stock market misfortune to get me some beer money for the weekend.
Me: Beer money, are you old enough to drink?
Ugly: Erm……. Yup!
Ugly worked out the route, regardless of the wonders of Sat Nav or my
previous knowledge of directions to Southampton.
After arriving in Southampton,
Ugly spent some of his cash on a few drinks.
He overdid it a little, and was warned by the publican to behave or face been
barred.
Afterwards he was stopped by security in the local 24 hour store for
trying to buy alcohol whilst been underage.
After escaping security, and the distribution of many wanted posters, the police
picked up Ugly the next day trying to get into St Mary’s.
Ugly was thrown in jail, wondering if he would ever get to see the match?
I managed to bail him out just in time, he enjoyed the sunshine and watched the Super Reds in their 0-0 draw.
I'd promised to take Ugly along the coast to Hastings, where he enjoyed time in the sun and swimming in the sea.
Ugly: I’m the master at fishing.
Me: Rubbish, you have no idea how to fish, but I do.
After arguing who is the better at fishing, we decided to have a competition. I
caught... Nothing.
Well, that put me in my place!
Brag, brag, brag. Man I was sick of hearing about Ugly and his bloody fish, I’ve sent him out on a ship, I told him to work his way around the coast and follow the river Don back to Yorkshire.
I was not going to listen to that for 5 hours driving back, but don’t worry, I estimate him to be back by Saturday. I hope he has some money left from his stocks and shares ( I took out his bail money) to get a cab to the airport for his flight to the USA.
Ugly in the USA
Ugly arrives in Michigen, home of Potty ( who cannot spell Michigan ), an exile from Barnsley who has learnt to spell like Americans.
well uglys had a few days to recover (and me from the friday night p*ss up we had with his new freinds the first one is bob the bear and then mickey anf freinds came to visit for the friday night p*ss up
( Picture omitted due to fear of being sued by Disney ! )
well was a not bad game just like the barnsley/donny one 4-1 then i went back to bed for an hour lol
ugly looked out of the window at the pool i said we will go tomorrow but its cold the water but 75 degreess(indian october here nornaly its about 30-40 degrees
I took him to the pool today for a lookaround and hope to get to detriot in the week so he can see all the things i not seen since i been there hehe
to monkey from ugly:
hope you lookign after the baby while i relaxed and soak up the sun and bud sh*te(and yes it is sh*te )
we took ugly for a drive out and he saw a sign and thought i can do that so i said yep i bet you can so we changed it !!!
then ugly saw this yellow thing anf wondered what it was until we got close
funny colour for a bus he said
wow there big ones he said
he met up with some madtykes look alikes i wonder which one is Charlie he said
arrrrrrrrrrrrrr where me ciderrrrrrrrrrr i feel like a wurzle
anyways we bought a few pumpkins for halloween and cut then out and ugly got lost inside one of them
we was knackered after the day so he had a good sleep
we going to detriot tommorrow to see canada and have alook aroung and we cannot wait for halloween :)
Ugly's Halloween
ugly get ready to go have fun on hallowenn(i am not good at dressing up a stuffed monkey but)hehee
he went as wait for it
count bugguler
This is not me ( or so Potty says )
we we took ugly sightseeing in detroit as we thought it be nice while he was here t see the car capital of usa btheres alot of pics
The bridge that goes to Canada
The tunnel that brings you back when you've had enough.
this is where the baseball team play detroit tiger
we went for a burger and ugly asked if he could help
then we went to goalie den a place where you can get all hockey things the wifes knows the man who owns it and we met a famous legand of the detroit team and the wife know him as well ted linsley we introduced him to ugky bugger but we could not take pics of him as he was buzy
so thats was that e bought ugly a little something to take back to barnsley but it was a bit too big for him hope you got some other frind of monkeys and uglys that can use it
