Monkey's first home match
Barnsley F.C. 1 Hull City 3
Now then. Where exactly is Oakwell ?
After 5 minutes Monkey asks " are we nearly there yet ? "
"Is this it ? it looks nice" says Monkey.
No you can't have any pop. remember last time ?
No I can't lend you 20 quid get in mi pocket quick while no-one's looking
No I can't believe it was a penalty either
Sit down Monkey I can't see !
Monkey asks " Why is this stand full of really old blokes that look like they've been here since 1912 ?"
I tell him that's because they have been and say it's his fault we've had to sneak up here as he was worried about shrinking in the rain.
Never mind Monkey. They lost 2 - 0 on my first night here
Monkey's next home match
Barnsley F.C. 0 Leicester City 1
Monkey got a little nervous before his next trip to Oakwell.
We are ALL nervous as he doesn't seem to be a very lucky celebrity fan.
NO monkey. I said fetch A banana.
Purleeeeeeeze can I come ?
Monkey, you're not exactly Mr.Luckypants the mascot are you ? Go on then.
Why can't we go and have some pop, I don't want to dangle round all the shops.
Monkey that's so 70s get down you're embarrassing me !
What's that funny man doing
standing there ?
Monkey I have no idea.
Leicester score.
Oh b*gger indeed !
it's no use hiding in there you little jinx.
Would Monkey be allowed to go to another match ?
Would it be worth the risk ?
Barnsley need to win to stay in the Championship
Barnsley F.C. 3 Charlton Athletic 0
The last home game of the season arrives.
A win will guarantee Barnsley F.C. safety, but should I let Monkey go to the match ?
Oi, you can't lock me in here with this bl**dy thing - it et that duvet last week don't forget !!
Oi, oi, let me out !!!!
I check the car. No sign of Monkey. Safe to set off.
How on earth did ... officer.. I'm being stalked ... arrest that monkey ...
Police ... help ... it's following me .....
At last you're going to get out and arrest this little so and so ... he needs locking up ...
Hello who's this ? Never seen this fan before. Must be one of those
bandwaggoners who's jumped back on for the
afternoon. Hello mate.
Hang on a minute, I recognise those woolly arms.
Monkey ! It's you !
Monkey wins the 2007-08 Celebrity Fan of the season award. Dickie Bird was seen
stomping off in a huff with his
hankie and Parky ? Well he didn't turn up.
You can stay if you go in the bag.
Ok it's a goal. That's good but get back in there till we have a six goal lead. Remember 1985.
Where've mi lucky polos gone ? You
greedy little s*d.
2 - 0
Oh Monkey, Monkey I forgive you. Truly lucky polos today !
No I don't think now would be a good time to apologise to the man inside Toby Tyke.
He's busy. Back in the bag.
Wayhay
3 - 0
OK you can come out.
What do you mean you've given your kit to a little boy ?
Go and get it back you silly b*gger and stop leaping about.
You've only been a fan for 5 minutes.
Oooo that was good. When's the next match ? Can I come ?
Is that man pointing at me because
I am a celebrity ?
Purleeeeeeeeze. Can I come next season?
The END of the 2007-08 season at home
After the final match of the season .....
Monkey
heard something sobbing in a corner.
"But we beat Barnsley twice," it weeped ," It's not fair.
We can't
go down we are a big city with lots of people."
And Monkey hugged it and said " Never mind, you can go to all
sorts of
new places now. That will be fun won't it ?"
But the thing still cried its little eyes out.